What's in a name?

In J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, protagonist Holden Caulfield sees a vulgar word in a museum's Egyptian display and is highly distressed. Similarly, in James Joyce's Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Stephen Dedelus finds the word fetus carved into a desk and comes unhinged.

In a scholarly thesis (written by me for my Master's degree), I point out the this squalor and exploitation is derisive. Holden says, and I quote it on page 27 of my thesis, Epiphany to Exile, blah, blah:

You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not lookin, somebody'll sneak up and write 'Fuck you' right under your nose... If I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetary and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say 'Holden Caulfield' on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say 'Fuck you.' I'm positive, in fact (p. 204)

Likewise, Stephen understands that language is the creator of reality, producing mental images though the use of words. (I borrowed that for my thesis from Dorothy Van Ghent.) Unlike Holden, however, Stephen realizes that by thinking of things, they can be understood and by naming them, they can be controlled.

So, what's in a name? Well, if you have a name like mine, Romaine, it has a lot of meaning. If you Google it, most of what comes up is recipes with Romaine lettuce. But growing up in a small place like I did, I used to say, Romaine, like the lettuce, when asked to clarify my last name. No one understood what I meant because no one there had ever heard of Romaine lettuce.

Romaine used to be a unique name, one that you didn't hear too often. Now, it's trendy. People know about Romaine lettuce--thanks to the Internet and improved interstate commerce. So the name is out there, and people understand my lettuce reference--after 30 years.

In fact, the name has almost become common place. There's a Romaine Boulevard in Hollywood, Califorinia, and I just found Romaine Circle in Oconee County, South Carolina. There's Derek and Romaine (more entertainers--if radio people qualify--the Imus fiasco notwithstanding). I have a cousin Derek Romaine, but that's something else entirely.

There's a Catherine Romaine Brown who writes all about Jack Russell terriers (love ya and miss ya Scooter). I'm not to be confused with her because I write about cats or other things. I could write about Jack Russell terriers, but why, when Catherine Romaine Brown already does this?

Then, there's my brilliant older sister, professor of the Merton chair at Oxford University. She's all over the place, with all her books, interviews, talks, presentations, scholarly works, etc.

Did you know there are places on the Web where you can get special names, like your pirate name, or your viking name? You can even get your own Japanese name. I found out what my elf name is: Idril Silimaurë. You, too, can get your own elf name.

Your name is so important, that the Oxford Dictionaries Web site is dedicated to names. Of course, you'll have to buy books, but that's what free enterprise is all about. You could wander down to the library and find the out what names mean, like I had to do for my earth-shattering thesis mentioned at the beginning of this post.

And, that brings us full circle, back to what's in a name. Obviously, everything. If, like Stephen Dedalus, we can control things by naming them, then that's why our parents do it. Right? Otherwise how would they handle all the crying and whining of youth or the teenage years?

The strange thing is, as much as I love my used-to-be-unique last name, Romaine isn't really my last name. It should be Romano. That's what all the Ellis Island paperwork says about my father's family coming over at the turn of the 20th century. Romano. Because many of them were WOPs (without official passports), they changed the name to the French version, Romaine. If you look up Romano, it's a kind of cheese, used on Romaine lettuce for Caesar salads. So, it's all about food, which is ok with me because I love to eat. Romaine lettuce, romano cheese and Caesar salads.